2. Fifty thousand self-taken photos of you with 'duckface'. You look idiotic, you know that, right?
3. "ZOMG I'M SO DRUNK THIS IS THE BEST NIGHT EVER WHOOOO!" every Saturday night. The first step is admitting you have a problem, honey.
4. Overly politicized (and ridiculously hypocritical) posts every fifteen minutes.
You say you want "smaller government" when it comes to YOUR life, yet when you want to drug testing welfare applicants, or not let two boys marry each other, or control MY uterus you're perfectly ok with the government being ALL UP IN IT? Um, no.
5. Three words: Farmville wall posts.
"You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood...blood screaming inside you to work its will.I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."
Patient (being contrary and oddly proud of his choice in footwear, no matter how girly it is, I mean really what man wears flip flops with little crystal embellishments on them): "It's a flip flop"
It's on your foot, isn't it? Stop arguing with me and take it off.
I downloaded Adele's latest album the second it was available on iTunes last month, and have had it on heavy rotation on my iPod since. All the songs are fantastic; I'm especially partial to "Rolling in the Deep", "Rumor Has It", and "Set Fire to the Rain", but her cover of The Cure's "Lovesong" slays me. Take a listen. Put it on repeat.
2. Make chocolate ganache with whiskey. Pipe into hollowed out cupcakes.
3. Make buttercream frosting with Bailey's. Frost cupcakes.
4. Consume. Die of happy.
